| I'm so good with money... |
[Aug. 24th, 2004|02:40 pm] |
I seem to have just purchased a laptop. Now how did that happen...cos I can really afford that. hehe oops :)
Think I'm gonna have to ask for plenty of overtime before i leave work...and might have to be using that offer for a 'bonus' from my boss (hmm that phrasing seems wrong, maybe I just have a dirty mind....).
I'm also considering changing my username on things, no more Mr Bump I think, in the bath (such a great place for thinking) I considered cynical_dreamer I think its rather me...hmm any opinions or suggestions could be good.
hmm I now have a grand total of about £56....hmm, and i haven't payed my parents the money the need to keep on loving me and let me stay here, which is more than that...ooopsy. |
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| we shall blame the insomnia... |
[Aug. 24th, 2004|04:45 am] |
Isn't life funny, it just all seems so weird. How do people do permanence? I don't think its something I'll ever be able to have a grasp of, everything just changes so much.
This time last year, which has seemed like the longest year ever, I had no job, was an absolute screw up and had countless friends.
Now I have no one hardly I feel close enough to to count as a friend, a job and am possibly still a screw up (oh wow maybe there is permanence then...), and in a month I won't even have the job.
I feel weird, I can't describe it, it is mopey though, but not badly so. Its all so weird I have all this expectation, yet so much doubt. I can easily see myself becoming some hideous recluse come September, and I really don't know why. It feels like September is gonna be this big point for me, like from my birthday I'm gonna be all this new me, perhaps. That its gonna be everything is great, I'm gonna step outside, have this amazing life and love myself. Or I'm just not gonna get out of bed for the whole month and wish the world had ended....one of those two possible outcomes.
Theres like so much it seems that could make September the start of my new life one way or another, college, able to have a social life again, yet no friends to socialise with yet new people to hopefully make friends with, or to further getting friends with other people I know...
I just feel that no matter what happens, its all gonna change in a way, nothing will be the same after September.
Or maybe I'm just being melodramatic....hehe |
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| randomness and geekiness |
[Aug. 23rd, 2004|11:42 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Cruxshadows - Bloodline | ] |
hmm for some reason I have a bit of an urge to try out drag....I bet I could do it well hehe
and also
You are the Fifth Doctor: Your youthful exterior
belies your centuries of experience, and even
you have a bit of difficulty rectifying these
two aspects of your personality. You are
compassionate, introspective, and deeply
troubled by injustice. If you occasionally seem
to display more vulnerability than your
predecessors, it's probably because you're more
openly human than they were. Are your
companions finally rubbing off on you?
Which Incarnation of the Doctor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Lust and purity and suchlike....how fun |
[Aug. 23rd, 2004|01:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bright Eyes - Lover I Don't Have To Love | ] |
| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 35%
When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself | 65.1% | | Shamelessness | 78.6%
Has yet to see self in mirror | 79.4% | | Sex Drive | 50%
A fool for love, but not always | 77.7% | | Straightness | 58.9%
Felt someone up once | 44.9% | | Gayness | 5.4%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame | 83.7% |
| Fucking Sick | 79.6%
Refreshingly normal | 90% |
You are 52.17% pure
Average Score: 72.7%
| |
first up was that purity test thing...come on I had to do it...and look how pure I am!
Also yay just been watching About Adam. Mmmm Stuart Townsend *drools* I don't normally have a thing for famous types but oooh. And yay a film basicaly where he gets to seduce almost everyone he meets (3 sisters, their brother (sort of) and the brothers girlfriend). Much fun :D |
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| Yet again it Astrology time. I should get my own program or something... |
[Aug. 22nd, 2004|05:02 am] |
| [ | music |
| | The Cruxshadows - Citadel | ] |
hmmm, there really are some silly named aspects out there, and far too many of the stupid little buggers.
Anone want to try a Quindecasemisquisquare? Thats for planets 167.75 degrees apart, anyone want to bother to calculate that? Or work out the meaning for it (actually I bet I can guess at that one, its a very very very very mild stressful aspect, see how useful it will be knowing its effects).
How about a Undecasemisquisquare or a Tredecasextisextile? Really, who comes
up with these names?
I challenge anyone to casually drop one of those into a conversation sometime, as they roll off the tongue so easily.
I think I'll be so impressed if someone can actually prove they used it in conversation that I might have to offer a prize...yes a prize for the first person that can suitably use one of those in conversation and prove it. hehe |
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| I really shouldn't have... |
[Aug. 18th, 2004|04:53 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Ladytron - Play Girl | ] |
But i found the lip service website again, and there was so much purdy looking stuff on there....
So have bought...
2 pairs of trousers
2 shirts (ones leopard print!! yay, and I know I can get it in Camden but they never have it in my size...)
t shirt
pants (yay they have slut on them)
and a skirt for Eppy (shes paying me back)
So yeah spent quite a bit...also am waiting on another new pair of shoes to arrive (cheers to Elfy for showing me those)
And am going to Camden on Sunday most probably....hmm....I was planning on saving...hmmm hehe |
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| bugger |
[Aug. 18th, 2004|04:04 am] |
Lj just ate my entry, have people not been feeding it properly...
Aaah well it was a fun entry, it had about erotica and tentacles....at work...
and i'm damp. damn. |
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| obsessions |
[Aug. 17th, 2004|04:49 am] |
| [ | music |
| | The Last Dance - Nightmares | ] |
hmm I just realised how intense I can be about things.
Like people have told me before but I haven't payed much attention to it, thats just me getting los tin passion, thats different. But its not really, I might not always show it, or maybe be afraid to show it, but I'm intense about everything, I get obsessed, I get addicted and can't let go until I find something else to get obsessed about. Thats what it is with smoking, if I found something else to replace it (as i did with the eating disorder prior to the smoking) with I could just cut it off cos I'd be getting totally immersed in that next thing. I can't do anyhting by halves, I have to have all or nothing, usually I go for nothing admittedly, like with my job, I could just wait, or just calmly explain to them I might want ot leave if I get into college, no I had ot cut it off entirely with the intense hope that I'd get into college, now ultimately everyhting is riding on me getting into college.
Like I can sit there for days on end listening to nothing but the same song over and over and over, I get obsessed, I'm doing that now, I haven't sotppe dlistening to the last dance, haven't willingly listened to anything else since I found out about them, more specifically this one song.
Nice ot know I can be intense, it was my descriptions about things to someone (nickelpickle) that just made think, the way I described it, made me realise how intense I do things sometimes.
hmmm just a fun lil fact about me I only just noted. Yay for self-knowledge. |
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| looky what I did... |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|09:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rachel Stamp - Dead Girl | ] |
 Your Sex Sign is Aquarius! You're a 22nd century lover - without any rules or hangups. You're a typical "trysexual"... well versed in the bedroom and curious about everything you haven't tried. You give everyone you run into the most exotic sex ever. Aquarius, you are a 22nd century sexual being. Your tastes and attitudes are totally futuristic. You are very adventurous and curious about everything. Aquarians are the "seekers" of the Zodiac. You aren't posessive or materialistic - and you make your own rules. Your sexual personality is exotic and bohemian. You love to talk about sex - anywhere, anytime. You enjoy hearing about other people's sexual exploits, and you completely unshockable. You reached sexual maturity at an early age. You have had many varied sexual relationships, and you have dabbled in just about anything - if only for the experience. Above all, you aspire to become better and better in bed. You love to be taught new sexual tricks. You love to experiment seuxally. You have a preference for the most exotic sex positions - Hindu, Japanese, and especially Tantric. What's Your Sex Sign??More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
hmmm....i'm totally innocent I am....or exotic and experimental always wanting to try more.....take your pick hehe
what I say or what the quiz says....hehe |
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| LONDON TYPES!! |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|04:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Siouxsie and the Banshees - The Killing Jar | ] |
That can bear me enough, how bout anyone wanting to go out tonight? I wanna do something, go somewhere, gonna go insane sitting in perhaps.
Need to go out and drink or have fun....but I have a feeling everyone is nursing hangovers today... :( |
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| Yay Yay Yay!! |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|03:53 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Siouxsie and the Banshees - Melt | ] |
I found my Twice Upon a Time cd
Yayayayayayayaya.....I thought I had lost it...(the cd, no one suggest anything else....)
I so love Melt
Hmmm....damn boredom....and fuck all to do, and mind not working properly it seems....its gonna be one of those days isn't it.... |
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| Big isn't beautiful... |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|03:19 pm] |
I have an icky belly...
If anyone sees me eating slap me, I want to be anorexic hehe I so wanna rock the heroin chic....
Time to hunt out the King Adora and find amusement from song about anorexia as I starve myself hehe
(note: only semi serious, bad taste humour and boredom....) |
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| Did have something to say.... |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|03:08 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | lots n lots of The Cure (but not their latest cd...) | ] |
I've forgotten what I was gonna put....
Probably something like hate my life right now....whoo for listening to bloody mopey singing types....hehe |
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| Whoo for work.... oh hang on I'm quitting dammit.... |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|05:31 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Lacrimosa - Durch Nacht Und Flut | ] |
Now really why is it I have one of the more fun nights at work (and including the journey home, especially the journey home...) just after I've told my boss I'm quitting?!
My boss told me that the door is left open basically, for any type of work, night or day at one of his other places when I want it, and also even said that if I'm short for costs for my college course I can get given a 'bonus' for it. I seem to be lighter king (queen? hehe) as well, seeing as I've sold a £130 lighter and keep on getting through selling others too.
Also had a fun conversation with him about drugs (like how I've snorted coke, smoked crack and fun lil facts on pills) and whether there were any cute guys in tonight (is that really a conversaiton you're meant to have with your straight boss?!); that was after he had broken out the cuban rum, mmm nummy, haven't really had rum before, as can't count bacardi as it is vile. Gotta go with Havana Club Rum or something like that, mmmm nummy.
So, yay for enjoying work....hmmm.....
Also met load of random fun people on the bus home, they were very very fun
Just think of the studying towards career I want, the fun of being an art student (its so me), and being able to look all arty (hair dye here i come!!), and actually being able to have a life again! And not how I actually quite like the job in a lot of ways.... |
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| Hmm...I done something, hope I don't regret it.... |
[Aug. 14th, 2004|05:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Icon of Coil - Situations Like These | ] |
I have just sent an email to my boss saying I would like to quit my job. hmmm....damn me acting on impulse before fully thinking things out (well if consdering it all the quiet moments I had when not reading my book counts as not fully thinking it out).
Its a very impractical way of doing things I know, as I haven't done anything about looking for another job, or got in contact with the college to see if I am even gonna be studying in September (I'm holding out hope for that though....I really need to have that hehe).
Then again when have I ever been practical. I quit my last job on a sudden impulse and was then unemployed for a year.
Although I feel it was I had to take action on it, if I had waited to hear something from the college it would have been too late for me to comfortably do anything about quitting my job for it if do get on the course as it owuld have been too close to the date for cigar school, which seems like quite a no turning back point in a way. This way I can comfortably do it (admittedly with an email packed full of lies about the quitting) with telling myself they can find someone else to replace me in time to send that other person to cigar school. It would probably be better for that person too, as it would be like training right when they start their job.
Oh tomorrow is so gonna be uncomfortable at work.....
Although there is another consideration here, one that probably makes me seem utterly insane, but theres a pattern to it that appeals to me. I started the job on the 13th of the month during mercury retrograde.....I have sent an email to quit after working the 13th of the month during mercury retrograde.....I know it is utterly insane, but there is something about that that calls to me and appeals to me.
Also yay, I have just finished reading Interview With The Vampire, I had forgotten how much I love this book, how much I can relate in places to Louis, the way he doesn't really act, but just reacts mostly, the over contemplating things and the way he describes that for a rare moment it was like his mind was quiet. And also my love for the character of Armand, he is easily my favourite of Anne Rices vampires.
( So here are a couple of excerpts I really like ) |
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| The Night London Went Crazy.... |
[Aug. 13th, 2004|03:10 pm] |
London indeed went crazy last night.
For a few examples, some guys frolicking about in a fountain, one in a pvc nurses uniform, one in a maids I think and some others.
Or the mad old dyke at the Atlantic who reminded me of Mo Slater
Or the couple that had to be thrown out cos she was giving him a blowjob in the restaurant under the table....
Hmmm or much more, but london was just mad last night.
Also have finally been given a date for Cigar School, just when I was considering quitting my job, hmmm....I was thinking of waiting to hear from the college (As they said 4 weeks, which it has been longer than now, damn you mercury retrograde!) and then use that as the excuse as wanting to focus on the studying. But I'd feel bad if I was to quit now, now that they finally have got a date for cigar school, ok so its only one day, but its quite an event apparently (yay...!). So I could tell him now I would like to quit in September, so he can find someone to replace me and they can get the cigar school date, but that would mean I would probably quit earlier than I would like to....and yet even if I did that something tells me it wonn't quite go all that simply....hmmmm....what to do....
If I do probably come september I'll end up with no place at college, no job and stuck at home doing fuck all again.....I can really see that happening....
Oh also grrr, turns out Cuban Guy is back this Saturday, only got told this last night after it being too late for me to get the night off to go to the moot. grrrr *growls at work people and again mercury retrograde* |
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| I'm certain I had something proper to put in here... |
[Aug. 12th, 2004|07:04 am] |
but I can't remember it....so have this instead...
and I know who all 3 of you are! nerrr :P
Cos I'm a silly insomniac type with nothing better to do than put in names until I find out...hehe |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2004|04:53 am] |
Is it sad that cos I can't sleep right now and for something to do i'm sitting on that lj crush thing putting in names to see who the people that put they have a crush on me are? hehe
*winks at Casp*
So I had an immense amount of stupidity at work tonight, as Eppy already knows.
Turns out I sold a cigar for about (read:at least) £10 less than it should have been, and then had big moment of panicking about it hehe. I stopped panicking when I redid the stock sheet to cover it up, but had to do that out the back so if anyone was watching on the camera wouldn't see me alter the sheet, so made a good show of making it look like I was just taking the sheet out back to check stock too..... hehe eep :/
Welcome to my insane lil world....
Also felt a bit stupid from not knowing if the Atlantic people were shutting up early or not, they were (they never tell me these things) So felt stupid about lingering about, just made it seem like taking my time at closing up, then worried about if the main doors had been shut cos of early closure, and can't remember the route of the other way out totally, and didn't want to ask about that (again would have felt stupid) so waited until there wa sno one about and dashed up the stairs to the main doors, which yay were still open.
hmmm, so back to finding out who that other crush person is.....hehe |
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